035: Do Mothers Make Good Athletes?

As the modern face of sport continues to evolve and with the innovations in science allowing our athletes to not only achieve younger, they are allowing them to stay in the game for longer.

There is, however, still one demographic that has found it a less than smooth journey.

Our female athletes!

Our elite female athletes have arguably worked harder than most to be seen as serious and equal athletes in the eyes of the world. These determined women are sacrificing many of what we think as normal life choices in order to achieve.

In this episode we are going to explore the benefits and the hindrances of being a mum athlete.

So on this Mothers Day check out what being a mum/mom and an athlete is really like.

Episode Transcript

Brain in the Game | Sport Mind Coaching Podcast
Dave Diggle
Episode Thirty-Five – Do Mothers Make Good Athletes?

Hello and welcome back to Brain in the Game. Brain in the Game podcast has been specifically designed for athletes, coaches and parents who are out there looking to do their sport just a little bit smarter. Brain in the Game is a podcast that makes sense and I'm your host Dave Diggle.
In this episode 35 we're going to look at: do mums make good athletes. Now I've been fortunate in my career to work with some of the most outstanding athletes, some of that used to be a very common phenomenon. However, as the female athlete would get to a certain age and think, it's time for me to go off and have my children and have my family, and they would stop this sport or they would make that decision of, I'm not going to have children because of my sport. So, it was a deal breaker or deal maker for these athletes. In recent times with the way the sport is grown and the ability for the medical profession to keep us in sport for much longer, athletes I work with go off have their children and then get back into professional sport, which I believe is an absolutely phenomenal thing - not only for the sport, but for female athletes across the globe.
From a mind coaching perspective, I've noticed some commonalities and differences between those athletes that choose not to have children and the athlete who choose to go off have their children and then get back into professional sport. And all I want to do today is to look at that and answer that question. Do moms make good athletes, or does having a baby make you lose that edge? In the past, the male population of the elite athletes were far more open to the mental training aspect of performance. When in reality it's probably a great place for a female athlete to be. Mind coaching is predominantly about the mental the emotional and cognitive development. So that mental and emotional aspect to performance. So, having females now see the mental training as such an important aspect to their career has enabled them to take that leap I believe into creating a longer performance career - not seeing that they have to get out and have the children or choose not to have children. Having the ability to manage mentally and emotionally and physically has kept them in the sport which is a great thing for the sport and for these female athletes.
So, I've got to work with some incredible females over the years from ultra-marathon runners to martial artists to skiers, aerial skiers, surfer’s sprinters and even racing car drivers. Whereas in the past a lot of the sports where the domination of men today were seen females across the globe mixing it with the guys being on equal par both physically and mentally. And it's an important aspect for every athlete to recognize – it doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl nowadays - the career opportunities for you in your sport are growing and growing and growing. So, the phenomenal side of sport is it isn't any more just the domain of men or just the domain of females in certain sports. We cross-platform that look at the tennis: in today's tennis there isn't much difference between the way the men and the female play. So, it is a distinct positive swing towards a professional female athlete getting them into the sport and keeping them in the sport.
And that has a greater impact on how the sport is developed too. Females used to see that they'd have to give up and leave the sport when they wanted to have a family. Now they're seeing these pioneers coming back in and being world class again after giving birth that sees a longevity for these athletes; to see that there's a career path for them. And not only does that enable the youngsters to come along and keep pushing to keep going, it then gets these mentors back into the sport that these young athletes can go out and talk to about, “How do you manage your life AND a sporting career?” So, there are some differences there are some different aspects to the female who comes back after to those who have yet to leave the sport and have a family.
Part of that I believe isn't because their female, isn't because they have given birth, it’s just because of their age and maturity. So, when we're younger we're maverick to our sport. You know, we’re bulletproof. We're going to go out there and it doesn't matter what anybody tells me. I’m strong, I'm fast, I’m the best at what I do. And we're very intrinsically focused. And that's the guys and the girls. However, when you get to a certain age and maturity that kind of changes a little bit. We become less maverick about what we do. We see a few more consequences involved and we're not so intrinsic processing we're a little bit more extrinsic too. So, I think that's an age thing. The change is not necessarily male or female, it might coincide with becoming part of a family, or having relationships.
So, we probably put that in the same bucket, however I don't think it belongs there. Some of the athletes have come back to work with me, I found that the females getting back into sport have a hardness about them, there is this is toughness, this, “Don't mess with me, I've given birth,” kind of mentality. “You can't tell me anything about how, how this is going to be because you haven't given birth,” and you're right, I haven't given birth so I'll take my hat off you guys and you can keep it. It's definitely a benefit when you're when you're training hard when you've got those deadlines when you've got that structure you've got that competition coming up and you're pushing hard. You can understand the toughness that comes with that as a mother and it's an incredibly positive aspect to have, and something - you're right - guys will never ever have a realistic concept of. But we also don't get that toughness that hardiness that comes with that labour process. So, you know that's definitely a bonus.
I've even had female athletes say to me, “Right, I’m due here, my competition is there, perfect because my body will still be full of all the chemicals.” Those positive chemicals - the oxytocin that manage those positive emotions. They are an anti-inflammatory, they are a mood lifter. They manage the pain so much better because of that process. Now I wouldn't necessarily advocate planning the birth of your child so that you have all those chemicals in your body when you're going out and competing. However, it's definitely an advantage. All these kinds of things come out but the reality is if you've given birth you know what it is to deal with pain.
So, there is a hardiness that comes with the mom athlete. They kind of know that boundary of, “I know how far my body can go and before I gave birth it wasn't as far as I thought it could go. I now know how far I can go.” There’s definitely some benefits that come along with understanding your body better.
But there there's some negatives that come with that too. There's this concept of reality when we're younger we're maverick and we're going out there and there's no consequences to what we do of them our actions. There’s a natural freedom to that. We don't have to worry about other people we don't have to take other people into consideration. Everybody is they are designed to give us our outcome to reach those objectives that we want to reach. When we've got family when we've got children around us our perspective on reality changes because it's not only about us. There's other people involved and we have to think about other people because they're dependent upon us. So, we a world a reality shifts a little bit.
Now the positive side is there is always, always told if you want something done you give it to a busy person because a busy person will make time to make it happen. They will be able to show you and fit things in because it's dependent on them. And there's nobody more busy than a mom and mums got to balance so many things including their training including their kids including their husbands include in their work and all that everything else goes into their day. So, one of the things that I've recognized is the moms that get back into sport they're on time.
They get things done you ask them to do external training they're gonna get it done. You ask them to come pick something up and get it done you ask a mom to do some more reps, it gets done. They've got to have that time management process put in place that enables them to do that. So, mums are – hats off to them - mums are the greatest time managers and that shows in their training schedules. They recognize they've got a limited window so when they get back into their sport they recognize that window is closing a little so they become incredibly focused and are far greater, in my perspective, in getting things into that perspective. All right. I've got this and this to do. That's my target. Whereas when we're younger and we think we're bulletproof we think we’ve got all the time in the world.
We think that you know when I go out there and train today if it doesn't go right I've got next week. You speak to a mum, “I've got to get it right today so I can do the next thing.” There's a distinct shift in the way they focus. Of course there are some limitations and again I think that's more about age than it is about gender or the fact that you've got now got a family. However, the biggest hurdle I have seen from a behavioural perspective with new moms getting back into sport is their fear of consequence. So, the ‘fear gene’ kicks in because it is no longer about just us it is about those kids that rely on us so that bond between the mom and the child often plays a part and stops the performance just before they would take that risk just before where they would push that boundary where that wave that they would get on wouldn't have worried them.
Now it's kind of bigger than what it was before - in their mind, of course. Or that racing car driver gets in and slides into the car just where they would push the boundaries on the apex maybe they don't push it as much because of the fear of consequence. And that's a natural thing because no longer is the whole world revolving around you. It's got this thing sitting next to you that needs you that wants you that has that great expectation of you of, I need to be fed I need to be taken I need to be nurtured. So of course that's going to affect the way we think the way that we process the way that the mom puts herself in harm's way.
Not only is it about, How far can I push and how far do I trust myself?
It’s, What would the consequences be?
It's a new dynamic that comes into our decision making. So naturally that does impact on our performance. But of course everything can be managed. And one of the things that is important for every mum backing spool is to be able to put things into context if you're going to push for the apex, what have you put in place to enable you to make the apex. If you're going to go out there and going to surf the big break, what can you put in place, what actions can you take to ensure that you do get back on the shore and you do get home in time to pick up the kids. It comes down to you in managing your environment smarter.
It comes down to you ticking those boxes. It's not a maverick action more, it's a well thought out and planned process. I can attempt this and do this because I've done X Y and Z rather than, I’m bulletproof, I can do this, prove me wrong. So the mom coming back into sport I think is a smarter athlete because they do have consequences because they do have these other appendages they can look after they do see things differently. So, they have to be smarter about how they do it. Of course they’re better time managers, of course they have a greater focus. And also, if managed correctly those fears it actually pushes them towards being more structured to be more accountable to having better systems in place so they can guarantee when they go out and perform they're going to come home and look after those kids. Having mums back in sport I think is incredibly positive.
And actually, I don't see any negatives to having mums coming back into sport. I think it's given the sport so much more depth it’s giving it a different perspective on how you can perform. It's giving mentors to the young athletes coming through to say you can have a life outside of your sport and still be the best at what you do. You just got to come down and plan a bit smarter.
So, to all you moms out there who are phenomenal athletes who are phenomenal parents. I take my hat off to you and I look forward to seeing more of you moms getting back into the competitive world because you can do it. You do have that skill set and you've got all these added bonus things that are kind of been thrown upon you that you can use to your advantage.
I hope you've enjoyed this different perspective on sport and mums in sport and I look forward to sharing with you my philosophies my thoughts and my theories on how we can make sport smarter.
Until the next episode. Train smart and enjoy the ride. My name's Dave Diggle. I'm the mind coach.

035: Do Mothers Make Good Athletes?

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