Brain in the Game | Sport Mind Coaching Podcast
Dave Diggle
Episode Twenty-One – Athletes and Confidence – Becoming a confident athlete
Hello and welcome back to Brain In The Game, the podcast specifically designed for athletes, coaches, and parents who are looking to do their sport just a little bit smarter. Brain In The Game is a reminder of why we need reminders, and I'm your host Dave Diggle.
I wanted to do a short episode today to share an experience of someone in my master class who had become intimidated by a competitor. Today's episode will look at how to become that confident athlete.
When you see an athlete that exudes confidence, the swagger, the bubbling charisma, the relaxed – almost taunting – persona. They're not necessarily cocky or flash, they just have that core confidence and an “I know something you don't know” look about that. It's really intimidating, and you tend to notice it just as your nerves are starting to climb, and your self-doubts and percolating beneath your skin. Then in walks that unfazed, glowing athlete. Their gear looks flashier, their physique looks a little more cut, and their glow is a little more glowy.
In reality, they're no different from you or me. We have all been there, guilty of that part of our brain that initially sinks into “Oh, no...” when we see someone with that swagger. It's all due to the influence of one or more of that competitor's looks of confidence.
What is it about confidence that is making or breaking a performance? In order to master it, we need to understand it. In episode 3, we looked at confidence and managing fear. Part of that episode explained that confidence is an emotion, nurtured out of a sense of familiarity. I often call it just a “history of success”. Why does it have such a profound influence over us and those around us?
Deep down, we all have some level of self-doubt. It's human nature. Those of us who are more externally referenced are more prone to its effects. If you're more internally referenced – you gauge and manage from the inside-out – then the influence of those around you are less effective on your internal state; however, you're less likely to be diverse as well. If you're more leaning towards external referencing, the thoughts and input of others has a much greater impact on your sense of self-management. There's pros and cons on both sides of the internal/external debate.
How does this affect our confidence? When I described that athlete at the start, with the “I know something you don't” look, in fact, they do. An internally-referenced athlete has to have all their successes internally catalogued, as it's these to which the athlete gauges their progress. Whereas with an externally-referenced athlete, these references are held externally and highlighted by others around them. That confident look is that athlete knowing what they're capable of given their history of success.
We could change your referencing structure and make you more internally-referenced; however it isn't realistically practical, and in my opinion, there are more upsides to being externally-referenced than internally-referenced, when managed correctly. Rather than a lobotomy, we need to build a structure of referencing that feeds the confidence monster.
Part of this has been handed to you in episode 6 with the journaling process, which teaches you to better reference and reward your successes; as well as a tangible location to constantly see your list of successes. This makes your successes more front-of-thought and memorable for you. The other process to better managing the external-referencing process is having a staff member, cheer squad, or coach, who is aware of the need to constantly keep you success-oriented. The only difference between that confident swagger and you is you, and the way you reference your successes.
How do we know if you're internally- or externally-referenced? There's grey areas between. In order to understand where we sit in that scale, we need to understand the language. If you're talking to someone who's internally-referenced, they talk about how they achieve stuff, what their goals are, what they should do next. Their language is geared around their own interpretation. Someone who is externally-referenced talks in multiples and “we”s. “What are your thoughts on this?” “I want to achieve this, do you think it's a good goal?” Understanding where you are, whether you're internal, external, or a dichotomy, enables you to understand how to categorise your successes.
We talk about people referencing their successes, an acknowledgement process which embeds the success. If you're externally-referenced, having the right people around you congratulating you will feed that external gratification. If you're externally-referenced, you already do that and recognise your achievements because they're part of your benchmark process. You know by turning around and saying “I did a great job today”, you get that acknowledgement.
Both these processes help towards confidence, and confidence is that history of success. When we do something the first time, we're less likely to be confident about it. The more times we do something, the more familiar and confident we become. Visualisation plays a massive part in building that confidence. We don't have to go out and do 10 repetitions of something and hope all 10 are successful if we visualise all 10. We don't have to hope those butterflies in our tummy don't impact our memory – if we visualise and associate the right emotions and success.
Visualisation, both associated and disassociated, is a key aspect to building confidence. It promotes that feeling of “I've been here before”. It lets you walk out feeling confident. When our master mind team was online, and this athlete described a sense of being intimidated by the competitor – the charismatic swagger he had – we unpacked why he felt that way. In reality, he just did know something my team-mate didn't, and now does. It's all in the reference. It's important you categorise effectively so you set objectives, achieve objectives, and recognise those objectives. You collect all the little wins together, so they become a huge emotional boost.
The next time you see an athlete who makes you doubt yourself, remember, all they're doing is remembering what they've done well. You'd do well to do the same. Reference what you've done and achieved, and what successes you've had, then observe them looking at you and going “Oh no it's them again...”
Until our next episode, train smart and enjoy the ride. My name's Dave Diggle, and I'm the Mind Coach.
Copyright 2012-2022 Dave Diggle
https://www.smartmind.com/
