Hello, and welcome back to Brain in the Game. Brain in the Game is a podcast that's been specifically designed for athletes, coaches, and parents who are looking to do their sport just that little bit smarter. And I'm your host, Dave Diggle.
In this episode 99, we're going to look at what's your role. We're a week away from the athletes leaving and heading to Paris for the 2024 Olympics. And many of my athletes and the coaches and their parents have said, 'What's my role? How do I support my child or my athlete during this really, really busy and very important time?' And it's a really good question. And something I get, whether it be an Olympic cycle or not.
So there's two phases we're going to look at in this podcast. We're going to look at preparation and we're going to look at performance.
And there's three roles that we're going to unpack. That's the athlete, the coach, and the parent.
What we're going to do is we're going to work backwards. We're going to start at performance, and we're going to start with the parent. When I get to work with high performing athletes irrespective of their sport, my philosophy is I work with the athletes, the coach, and the support crew, and often that includes parents. And I am a strong believer that everybody has a really important and specific role when we're trying to prepare and we're trying to perform in the high performance world. And parents are no different. Unfortunately, most parents are not told what their role is. They're often just told what not to do, not get involved, don't talk about the sport, don't put pressure on the athletes, don't, don't, don't. Yet I think it's more important that what we do do is recognise the really important role that parents play, and particularly on competition day. If we think about the athlete for a second, often come competition day or game day, depending on what sports you're in, there's a high degree of anxiety that comes with that. Most athletes want to perform well. Most athletes are concerned, or at least focused, on their performance. So anybody who's critical can come under fire from the athlete. If you're a parent, then often we cop it more than most. So what is the role of a parent on competition day? Well, the reality is your role really on competition day or game day, is just to be the support crew, not to get involved with the political or the preparation, but just be there for the great moral support to enjoy that moment.
I'll talk about this part a little bit later when we talk about the athlete, but essentially what we're looking for is to just enjoy the day. There's a lot of time, effort, blood, sweat, tears, and kilometres in taking the athlete to and from training that culminates in that one or two days of competition or performance. So it just makes sense that what we should be doing at this point is just enjoying it. The hard work should have been done. So as a parent, it's very easy for us. I'm a parent. I've got three children. All of my children were competitive in different sports at different levels, and all of them have had challenges at competition time, at different times. And what I've tried to do, and particularly around the highly emotional competitive times, is just be Dad. And that means just being a support, maybe going and getting some food or going and getting a blanket if they're cold, or anything that's not performance related. I work in the performance industry. I spend most most of my day working with athletes in the performance industry. So it can be incredibly challenging not to be involved, to not want to get in there with the nuts and bolts and start working with them and helping them and supporting them. But just to be Dad. If they wanted to vent, I let them vent. If they wanted to tell me how worried they are, I put my arm around them and give them a hug. If they were telling me they were unprepared and they didn't know they're going to perform well, I'd often say, Go and have a chat with your coach. As much as I think I could have added value because of what I do for a living, I couldn't have added any more as a parent. So our role as a parent on competition day is purely and simply parental support. To make it easy for that athlete to feel loved, supported, and it doesn't really matter how that performance goes, we're still going to love them. We're still going to care for them. We're still going to put our arms around them and tell them how much we love them, and we're there for them. So on competition day, it's really important that what we do is very little. Keep it simple.
And that leads into what we do as coaches, too. So as a coach, on competition day, I've seen so many coaches want to continue to coach, continue to tell the athlete, 'This is what you need to be doing. You should be doing this.' Correcting techniques, changing routines, changing focuses, highlighting focuses. All of the things that we do day in, day out as coaches normally, on competition day, continue to do the same. Now, again, when we get to the athlete, we're going to talk about performer mode and where that athlete's mindset needs to be. As a coach, if we're taking the athlete out of performer mode and taking them back into student mode, then we're not doing the right thing by that athlete. We're not giving them the opportunity to perform the way that we know they can perform. It doesn't mean we ignore them. It just means our role is very different. Our role when it comes to competition, when we're the coach, is realistically to answer any specific questions, put them on the apparatus, to do anything that's physically required of us, but not to coach. And again, that sounds very counterintuitive. As a coach, we think that our role as coaches is to constantly coach, is to constantly correct. But recognising when we constantly correct, we create doubt. When we go in there and say, 'It's okay, you know what? Do this, do that.' We take the athlete out of a place where they're comfortable and they're confident, and we take them back to over analysing. It's all done with the best intentions.
There's a a story I recall when I'm coaching or when I'm lecturing. And it was a very famous coach who was an absolute institution in their sport. And they called me to come and work with one of their athletes, and he said to me, We're going to an Olympics. This athlete has a good opportunity an opportunity to do incredibly well. So when we come to competition, though, they normally choke. So that athlete needs to be fixed. So he asked me to come and work with them. And so I went into... These are a nice skater. I went into the venue, and I watched this skater practise for the competition that was coming up the following weekend. And this skater looked fantastic, looked phenomenal. Graceful, in control, performing incredibly well, had a lot of self-belief, had a lot of confidence. And I thought, this athlete has got it. They've nailed it. They're ready. Two days later, I went to the competition and I watched the athlete warm up.
I watched the athlete stand on the boards on the side, ready to perform. And I watched the interaction between that athlete and their coach. And then I watched the athlete go out and completely fall apart. And the coach come up to me and goes to me, See, competitively, they're broken. You need to fix them. And I said to the coach, with the greatest respect, the athlete isn't the issue. What you're doing is keeping keeping that athlete in student mode. They're not trusting themselves. They're not believing in themselves. And when they go out to compete, they're still the student. They're not the performer. At that point, he asked me to leave. And in a couple of hours, I got a phone call from his assistant and said to me, he'd like you to come back and explain what you meant by him being the problem. So I went back and I saw him and I said, look, first things first, I didn't say you were the problem. I said you were the cause. And explained to him the situation of when an athlete goes out to compete, they need to compete in a place of trust, not in the coach, but in themselves.
When we coach and we're constantly correcting, we're teaching that athlete that at that point, as a coach, we know more than they do, which means they can't trust themselves. They have to trust us as coaches. And he understood that. And full credit to him, he changed what he was doing. He changed how he approached Competition Day, and the athletes that he had went on to perform much better. So as a coach, what's our role on Competition or Game Day? Again, just keep it simple. What we're looking to do is deliver what the athlete needs. So that brings me to the athlete on competition and game day. What's their role? What do they play? How do they do what they do? The reality is the most simple thing an athlete will ever do is compete. And every time I tell my athletes this, they give me daggers. They look at me and they go, You don't understand. You don't know what it's like. You don't know the pressure. You don't know the expectations. Well, look, the reality is I do know. Yet if we think about this, logically, the most simplest thing that you're going to do is go out and do what you already know.
So if we get to the competition and game day and you're going out and doing something that you don't already know, then the problem isn't the competition or game day. It's our preparation. We've not prepared. So the whole concept of being able to go out and perform the way that you know you can perform and just do what you already trust is our role, is our purpose as an athlete on competition and game day. Just hit your process, follow your systems, and do it at the best possible way you can, which is in performer mode. So we've probably got into this podcast and addressed competition and game day for the parent, the coach, and the athlete really quickly. And that's because most people are outcome-driven. They're focusing on the outcome. They're focusing on the performance. And for me, when I'm talking about mental preparation, consistency, replicability, and control, that's the biggest mistake. People focusing on the outcome the result. That isn't an indication of, Are you ready? That's just an indication of how good was the preparation. So that brings us to preparation. And when we talk about preparation from a parents' perspective for the athlete, now this is where the role is very specific.
What we're looking at is what does a parent need to do? What does the athlete need from that parent during their preparation? And anybody who's listening to my podcast will know I talk a lot about our preparation funnel system. Our preparation funnel system will look at the non-negotiables, the needs, the wants, and the nice to haves. Anybody who listens to my podcast or any of my trainings will also know, we talk about the entourage circle. And this is what I need from you. What do you need from me? Both these processes should identify the needs for that athlete in preparation in order for them to perform their best on competition and game day. From a parent, our role is to deliver what we need that athlete to have or deliver what the athlete needs from us. So that could be the part of their non-negotiables, hydration, nutrition, ensuring they get good sleep, ensuring they have time to down time to recover, off time, balance. Again, logistics, making sure that that child gets to and from both school or training. So our role as a parent, again, is supplying the needs for that athlete at that time.
It's not about problem solving for them. It's not about getting angry for them when training doesn't go the way they want. It's not getting angry for them and trying to solve it if they don't get selected. That has to be for the athlete and the coach to manage. And as a parent, I get That's hard. That's a challenge because you want to protect your son and your daughter. You want the best for them. You know how much it's important to them. You know how much they've put into it. So sometimes being able to step back as a parent and say, Okay, at this place, I'm not actually serving my son or my daughter by getting angry and trying to solve it for them. What I need to do is empower them to go and have that conversation with their coach. So being a parent, realistically of a high performing athlete is a really challenging job. And as a coach, if we don't engage the parents in a specific role, giving them what they need to do in order for that athlete to be ready. Or if we turn around and say to them that, It's my job, you need to back off, which I've heard numerous times, both at a younger athlete level and at a senior level, then you're going to end up with conflict between the coach and the athlete, because you're going to end up with conflict between the coach and the parent.
This is going to create an environment that doesn't feed high performance. When we talk about high performance, what we need to do is understand what our role is, irrespective of what that is, whether it's the athlete, the coach, or the parent, and make sure we stick to our role, make sure that what we're doing is delivering our role the best way possible. So when we're focused on what our role is as a parent, and if our role is nutrition, hydration, transit, the taxi, paying the fees, just being a support if they're upset, all of those things, then we want to be making sure that what we're doing is the best this version of us as parents, as that support crew, because that's what that athlete at that time needs. They're not looking for a parent. They're looking for part of their support crew so that they can perform. The other thing I say to parents, and this again can be very, very challenging all around, is as a parent, we need to leave the sport at the sporting venue. And I often say to parents, when I'm training the athlete, and training the coach, and training the parents, if you can't have the conversation about how that training session went, by the time you get into the car, don't have it.
Because when the athlete gets home, they need to have downtime. They don't need the Spanish Inquisition of, why did the coach say that? Why did you do that? Why Where did your peers do this? Why didn't you do this? Otherwise, that athlete can't turn off. So as a parent, part of our discipline is knowing when to engage, knowing how to engage, and most importantly, knowing when not to engage. So in preparation, let's talk about the coaches. A coaches's role is being able to share the right information at the right time in a way that that athlete is going to receive it, absorb it, and use it. It's not to overwhelm the athlete with every piece of information that you as a coach have, because that athlete then will become overwhelmed, emotional, and start to shut down. Not necessarily process and apply, But think, What's wrong with me? Why didn't I know this? There's so much to do. There's so much to approach this with. I've got to do this, this, this, and this. And we start to see athletes overtrain and have high expectations of themselves and often become their worst critic. So as a coach, if our role is to deliver that information that they need at the right time, then we need to understand the trajectory that the athlete's on.
Where do they need to be at what time? What process do they need to be in when they're preparing for a competition or a performance? And making sure that the metrics that we're reading in that athlete are the right metrics. If they're where they need to be, it's recognition and reward. And you're doing that really, really good. How do you replicate that? If they're not where they need to be, then It's, okay, we need to be at this point for your preparation. This is what I think you need. What do you think? So you end up that collaboration. So information and coaching is a collaboration, particularly as we're getting close to a competition. Each phase an athlete goes through, our coaching role changes. It shifts. It needs to be fit for purpose. If our coaching is not fit for purpose, then we're not fit for coaching. And that sounds really harsh. But our job is not to do it for the athlete or solve it for them, but to teach them how to solve it themselves. As coaches, we're often focused on technique, or technical, or physical. And because of that, sometimes we can not pay attention to the psychological, the emotional, until it goes wrong, until the athlete is frustrated, or overwhelmed, or not performing.
And only then do we look back and go, Oh, they're not coping. There's something wrong. We need to fix it. And again, coaches often try to get in and fix it. It's about empowering the athlete. I'll often say to my athletes, if the coach is competing with you and runs out onto the competitive landscape, whether that be a pitch or in the pool or on the ice or wherever that is, then they can have a say in how you do what you do when you do it. But the reality is, as coaches, we're on the sideline. We're on the side of the pool, on the side of the ice rink or the cricket pitch. We don't necessarily often run out with them to compete with them. So we've got to train the athletes to be self-reliant, to be able to get out there and do what they need to do in a way that they feel comfortable and confident, that they can do it without you. So as a coach, our role as we prepare an athlete to perform, particularly when we get into the last couple of weeks, is not about adding more to what they do.
It's about stepping back. It's being able to step back and become the master of the one or two things, the sniper deliveries, and adding the sanding and the polishing rather than still there trying to chisel it out. So as a coach, in preparation, it's about, as I said, collaboration. And the only way we can collaborate with an athlete is by talking to them and asking them rather than training them and coaching them and telling them. That process of collaboration is a challenging place for coaches. We will often want to fix it like a parent. We will often want to take control, and we will often try to force an outcome, particularly if that preparation hasn't been ideal, if that athlete is struggling with some things, if they're not on the right place at the right time within their preparation trajectory. So what do we need to do as coaches? Step back, keep it simple, become the master of the sniper one or two phrases rather than the control. So this brings me to the athlete in preparation. And I've already talked about the funnel process, the seven to two, the non-negotiables, the needs, the wants, the nice-to-haves.
This is the athlete's opportunity to create their optimal preparation. And if the athlete knows what they need to do, knows how to operate and execute their preparation, when they get to competition, it is only all about execution. And that's exactly where we want it to be. So the funnel process for an athlete is a system for them to prepare and be able to trust. And it is that trust mechanism that we're building for that athlete. And we want that athlete to build their own funnel system because it needs to be their system, not our system. We also talk about the student student and the performer mode. As the athlete gets closer and closer to the competition, they need to spend more time as the performer and less time as the student. Because what that's doing is teaching them to be self-reliant. It's teaching them to execute their processes, to take their training and to execute that in a way that they can trust. On the side of the SmartMind funnel system, there's a sliding scale of student and performer mode, and that's there on purpose. That's allowing the athlete to progress in increments. It's allowing the athlete to go, I'm going from 30% performer and 70% student to 40% performer and 60% student.
And by the time they get to the night before a performance, they want to be 95% performer and 5% student. And on game day, they wake up all about execution. So as an athlete, it is probably the most pragmatic thing that they need to do is understand, what do I need to do for me to be ready? What's the processes I need to put in place? What's the boxes I need to tick to be able to trust that I'm ready? So we started this conversation identifying two phases, The performance and the preparation. And three different job titles, the parent, the athlete, and the coach. Everybody has a role. And everybody's role is just as vital and critical to the athlete being ready. If we can understand how we do what we do and what we do, how it impacts the athlete or impacts ourself if we are the athlete, then being able to recognise our role and execute at a high performance level gives that athlete the best opportunity to trust, believe, and enjoy. And that's what I tell every athlete. The day before our competition, we should be at a stage where we trust, trust in our preparation, believe, believe in ourself, and enjoy.
Enjoy what we do. Trust, believe, enjoy. So ask yourself, if you're a parent, if you're a coach, and if you're an athlete, are you following trust, believe, enjoy? Or are you panicking? So you're not trusting? Are you doubting, so you're not believing? And are you waiting just to get through it because you're not enjoying it? Hope you got a lot out of this preparation talk, and hope you're looking forward to the upcoming Olympics as much as I am. And I want to wish all of my athletes the best of luck as we come into their moment to shine. Until the next episode of Brain in the Game, train smart, and enjoy the ride. My name's Dave Diggle.
